girl intruder with no future, a computer claims my soul. burdened with a nasty burning, obscene yearning for control. shy and quiet, there but silent, there's a violence in my heart. want to maim you, to repaint you, want to make you come apart. growing up, i had these urges i'd feel bad about, but... i'm done feeling guilty, i'll take these thoughts and tear them out. so you can't stand to see me punishing myself? only other option is to take it out on someone else! stickers on my artillery, i'm gonna make history. hurry up and get rid of me, while there's nothing left in me. quiet girl, so unassuming, don't ask me how i'm doing. born to bring the end of the world, swear it's nothing personal. tried to take it out on myself, didn't have the same effect. blood is always satisfying, but yours will be better yet. round the corner, acting normal, scary how they don't see it. ain't it strange, it feels like yesterday, that i was just a kid. another night, i'm all alone, enthroned within a screen. RGB light reflects uncut, orgasmic tragedies. oh, i can't stand these awful thoughts inside of me. only way to compensate is lead and metal, sharp and clean. razor bladed, sugarcoated, just cock it and reload it. in the backyard firing rounds, who's an easy target now? quiet girl, so unappealing, don't ask me how i'm feeling. born to die, i'm taking you too, how much damage can i do? bloody feet across the floor, no one there to clean the stains. never got to be adored. no one there to ease the pain. nobody to kiss it better. laughed at for all the scars. abusive misuse of a child, guess that must've been the cause. now i'm bitter, now I'm better, angry but I know the truth. you all hurt me, you all hate me, this is what you made me do. when nothing matters at all, you can do anything.. i have to hurt them, for balance, for karma, before they do it to me! so you can't stand to see me punishing myself? don't be so nice to me, you'll make me wish i wanted help! Stickers on my artillery, why won't you go and kill me? hurry up and get rid of me, before i say i'm sorry. quiet girl, nobody knows her, please let me start all over. born to bring you all misery, and yet you see good in me? if this wasn't really the end, and i could do it again, do you think that i'd deserve it? do you think that i'm worth it? sympa-, empa-, apathetic; they're only theoretic. for now, i put down my weapons, i wanna be a person.

to call your desires "childish" is an understatement. you told me i was special, that i was one in a million. i was just one in four, according to the statistics. how did it feel to touch a body that fit adolescent clothes? did you know i was scared to tell, that nobody would know? did I bring it upon myself, was it my fault for existing? if it's not real, it's not a warning sign. it's all fictional, right? you picked me out and ate me up, i thought that it was love. how young and dumb i was, another victim of your opportunistic lust, hands reaching out to touch, an unspoken disgust. too soon to grow up. (put in a heart-shaped plastic box covered up with a lid, with people like me who know the horrible shit you did.) it couldn't have been love, that's true, but if it isn't, what was it? the way you savored me got you off in the moment, now here i am, so many years later, heart racing, sleepless. did the means meet the end, was it carefully calculated? an innocence so valuable, you bared your teeth and ate it. all of the times i wish i said no and all of the times i tried, left wondering if you'd even stop if i put up a fight. for you, it was just a final course, a brief moment in time, for me, it's a weight i'll have to carry my entire life. it's all pretend, it's not a problem, right? that's all it took to bite. i let you reel in the line. i'm all you fantasized. desires come to life. you picked me out and ate me up, i thought that it was love. how young and dumb i was, another victim of your opportunistic lust, hands reaching out to touch, an unspoken disgust. too soon to grow up. you picked me out and promised me that i was all you'd need. how stupid and naïve did i have to be? another night i spend in grief. i see you in my dreams, i hear the way you breathe. too late to be free. say it's not real. the role i was assigned, the hunger in your eyes. the canary in the mine. it was a dove this time; a worthy sacrifice. you picked me, out of everyone, you did it all for what? some twisted kind of "fun?" i'll never get you. my god, who else did you corrupt? you ruin all you touch, betray all those you trust. (I FUCKING HATE YOUR GUTS.) you picked me out and ate me up, i thought that it was love. how young and dumb i was, another victim of your opportunistic lust, hands reaching out to touch, an unspoken disgust. too soon to grow up. you made me think that it was love. look at the person i've become.

with every song i hear about being lonely. i see the writer and they never really look like me. glass is half empty. guess i'm just unhappy. my feelings, they all scatter and pass right through me. like they were never really there, like the sunlight fading. and i'm unsure of where i came from, but don't need to know. because i know where i'll be going, i'll be going home. i'm going alone. under soil and stone. the fender speaking nonsense when i pick it up. the days that are too short, the days that are too long. the sound of a guitar eternally tuned wrong. the breakup before you're performing a love song. what's left when life isn't for me? don't tell me that you feel sorry. this is all part of the story. statue of glass tries to break free. no more treatment, no more waiting. don't know what is coming next, but, my metamorphosis will be.